How to stop shutting your partner down and open them up to love

When couples go through years of not having their needs met by their partner, they often come to believe, that there's something wrong with their partner. Or each other.

The truth is, neither of you are broken.

Couples usually come with years of experience of turning away in certain areas, of being turned off, of being frustrated, of feeling emotionally or sexually or spiritually unmet by their partner

One Couple's Journey
When I worked with a couple, who had stories about each other, and they surely had years of evidence for these stories...beliefs about one withholding sex, and the other withholding emotional intimacy...and how fundamentally they were denying each other the deepest needs each other craved..It was only when they came to a deeper and more loving self-concept of who their partner truly was, and how their partner functioned, in an entirely different way from them, and how their partner then could function - if the context was right for their partner - to fulfil their deepest needs...that it was changing the context of what happened, how things happened, when they happened, which made possible for their partner - who was previosuly turned off either emotionally or sexually for years, to be turned on...
   When the couple realised that if they fundamentally worked with who their partner is, instead of trying to change them, make them wrong, or identify them as autistic, narcissistic, withholding...when they realised their partner had the ability to really come forwards emotionally, to really come forwards sexually - once they were invited in the specific ways each of them needed (which was very different from each other) it was then, they suddenly realised that their was nothing fundamentally wrong with each other, that they worked differently, and that is was getting to know how each other worked, and working with each other in the way each person specifically needed...that this was the answer to getting their partner turned on emotionally, sexually, and spiritually...AND to getting their own needs met...!
   And when this happened mutually together, this was nothing short of amazing transformationally, for a sex-starved and emotionally unconnected marriage, which had gone on for 23 years...

When they completely changed their strategies, more deeply understood each other, changed even their self-concepts of how and who their partner truly even was (that their partner was not autistic, not narcissistic, not asexual - none of these things!)...then it happened, with a huge amount of Differentiation - of knowing how different they were, how different their desires and needs worked...they were then able to facilitate themselves And each other in meeting and thriving upon their deepest needs...which created a new garden, a new relationship, alive with much more beautiful and together experiences for them...and how they could facilitate each other, in the ways each other needed...to come towards each other...

If you and your partner are finding yourselves polarised in specific areas, and want to explore coming together in new ways, which deeply unite your own personalities, and deeply enable you meeting with each other to create a beautiful safe space between you, where you can grow many beautiful new experiences, call me on 0795 412 9046.