One of the secrets to keeping love alive, is getting your priorities in order. Many couples say that having a healthy sex life is a priority, but when it comes down to it - the washing up, tidying the house, cleaning the floors, washing the car, doing the garden - a myriad of little things, can take the place of the most important activities in your life.
The difference is we need to do the practicalities to keep order and to make things work - we fulfill our need for sex, love and connection to feel truly alive and fulfilled.
Don't make the unimportant things more important than the truly important things!
Don't make a myriad of small things more important than a sexual relationship with you partner, than writing the book you want to write, than being in nature, than getting off your mobile phone or computer and actively contributing to the world with your unique talents!
There are six main needs all human beings have in life. Not just drives, but needs we have to have met. The first four are 1) Security 2) Variety/fun 3) Significance 4) Love and connection. We need to have these needs met to survive. The next two needs bring us our spiritual fulfillment. These are 5) Growth 6) Contribution.
If a person meets the needs for Growth and Contribution it follows that there other needs will be met automatically, when we are growing and contributing, we fulfill our need for love and connection, for security, variety, and significance.
If you find yourself having no time for what is truly important to you because of all the little things, maybe it's time to make space for that love making you say is important but you are always too tired to do - or to set aside time to to write your book instead of filling you time with house-work everyday - or to walk in the mornings and be in nature instead of waking up to your mobile phone or laptop!
One study showed that couples who invest time doing quality things are happier in their lives than those who don't make regular time because they allow their lives to be consumed with the small stuff!
If this is you, you can take control of your life now, stop making excuses why what you say you value most in your life isn't happening, put down the hoover - and make a real connection through love making with your partner, or let those dishes go for a while and go and give yourself the space to write that book! Whatever is really most important to you and brings you fulfillment on a spiritual level. This will enrich your life immeasurably more than being tied up with a myriad of little things like Gulliver's ropes - all small - but the cumulative effect is that he was unable to move!
Movement in the sense of your fulfillment is what is most important. And if you take action to make it more important than the other daily chores of life - then like the saying says "Your stones will be put in order," your whole life and relationship will come into alignment, and work on a much more profound level which leaves you rich spiritually.
THE RELATIONSHIP EXPERTS International Relationship Experts John Donlon and Linda Connors have over 30 experience between them. They offer powerful and life changing relationship couple counselling and personal development programmes. They work with individuals and couples in the UK, America, Europe and Australia. If you are in relationship crisis are ready to take the first step into saving your relationship you can contact us on 0800 024 86 47.
Linda and John offer relationship advice, solutions and share their thoughts on love, relationships, marriage and intimacy.
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