March 19th, 2016

If you're not happy in your relationship, here's why


Most people's model of love, is about getting. But love, is actually giving. The more I give, the more I have.

Tony Robbins in his video about creating outstanding relationships, says the no. 1 discipline couples need to learn is to put their partner's needs first. This doesn't mean one person doing this. We are talking about creating a relationship. It needs two people who are consciously loving to do this.

Sometimes one person may say, "Well, that's not how I feel!" and then to get their needs met they think the best way is to induce massive amounts of pain into the relationship. That is not only not love, that is stupid.

Love, creating love, isn't about being led by our feelings. Creating love is about being disciplined, regardless of how we feel. That is why love is about adopting disciplines which create happiness. Not following our feelings as if we have no control of our life and our destinies. This is about me being responsible for my happiness.

So many times  I hear couples say, "I don't feel love." And that is absolutely okay. My question is, "And what are you going to do, to create it?"

They may come back with the problem is my partner. But the truth is, as long as anyone is in that mindset, they're not beginning in the right place to create love and experience happiness.

This needs to be bigger than me. It needs to be bigger than my partner, to putting love first.

Once we choose something bigger than ourselves, love will lead the way.