Sexless relationships and understanding Sexual energy

Do you want an amazing sex life?

This is a really serious question. If the answer is yes, and you have got into the habit of denying sexual connection and intimacy in your life with your partner - then it's time to focus on what you want.

Purely out of self-interest, this will serve you and add a connection and aliveness to your relationship with yourself and your partner, which will flow and enrich the your life in many other areas too.

The myth of Eros

The understanding of the important of sex in our culture and among many people - including therapists and sexual experts - trivializes not only sex but the meaning of life.

To redisover the meaning and importance of sexual energy many couples have lost in our culture and in their lives in sexless relationships, we can see how disinterest in sex leads to a subtlely and sometimes not so subtlely impoverished life and soul and relationship - in the wisdom of the Ancient Greeks and the legend of Eros.

In our culture we know Eros as a baby-faced cherub from television adverts, who mischievously fires his arrows and makes people fall in love. This is a very poor understanding of Eros - and is far from the original and true meaning of the myth which comes from Ancient Greece. A myth which can teach us of how to live our lives and relationships better if we listen to it with understanding and passion and meaning for our own lives - and connect with ourselves, our partner, our sexuality, creativity and love, to lead a richer and fulfilling life. 

In the anciet Greek myth Eros was only a baby faced cupid when he was on his own.  When he was with his brother, Passion, he was a full grown man - and as a full grown man his arrows plumetted to earth and caused life and grain to flourish and thrive throughout the earth.

In the Ancient Greek myth, Eros with Passion is the very Force and Source and Energy of creation and life itself. The force in the grain which causes the grain to flower and flourish on earth.

One of the saints called the force of Eros "the power which drives a man towards God."

The Greeks understood this sexual energy and the love of good which also imbues human creativity and spiritual-organic well-being.

And this is why in sexless relationships - the cure is Passion for love and creativity combined with sexual energy which makes human being and human existence whole.

The myth is really clear - it tells those who are in a sexless relationship to get serious and passionate about sexual energy and creativity and identifies the energies as deeply connected with living to our potential in every area of our life.

Our sexuality connects with the very meaning of our life, represented in the energy which causes the grain - the very fruit of life - to germinate and give life on earth through the sunlight.

And this is not just a metaphor - whether I have sex or not - when I am deeply connected to my sexual energy I am creative - and when I deny my sexual energy - my creativity dies too. And how much more in relationships between two people!

If any person doesn't live out the wonder of this energy in their own life with integrity and love and passion for meaning - then they may help other people become sexual being or whatever - but they are not living out their own potential - and so they are really missing the point.

At the heart of relationships we work to give you the richness of your life and psycho-spiritual-sexual-physical connection with yourself and your partner back in all its glories. 

We give you strategies which are practical and come in communication, listening, and speaking skills, relationship building, male-female dynamics, and building a bridge and connection of understanding yourself as individuals and how you work together.

We teach you to support each other's individual fulfillment and the fulfillment of a beautiful, whole relationship.

We help you to understand you have to work at it consciously and invest with love and passion to keep it fully alive.

We help couples who have fallen asleep sexually wake up to sexual energy and the richness of their lives by giving them homework which builds up their romantic and fun connection.

We provide relationship and sexual therapy which is highly practical and at the same time each program is tailored to each individual and to understanding, building and developing the unique connection between you and your partner, in simple step by step and easy to understand exercises, which involve NLP, mindfulness, relationship buillding, and positve well-formed outcomes, with underpinnings which bring out the connections and richness of your lives, in a holistic way, where you can see measurable results in your lives, and which we will help you plan together at the very start of therapy.

John Donlon works to restore relationships and build connection at The Heart of Relationships.