The Value of Questions in Relationships
Questions are really important. Important, because they determine the answers we are going to get - more than verbally, but in the way we live our lives.
There are two types of questions. High grade and low grade questions. A high grade question will lead you to a resourceful state. These include questions like, "Just how great can I make today?" "What kind of fantastic future can I create with my partner - specifically?" "How wonderful is that?" When I ask myself any of these questions, my imagination begin to soar and I begin to see and actually create new possibilities for the day. I feel inspired, light, and really looking forwards to the day.
A low grade question will lead you to an unresourceful state. These kind of questions can go something like, "How stupid am I?" "How can I do anything at all after this?" "Just how bad can two people be for each other?" "How can I trust you?" Like opening out a dark tunnel, when I think of these questions my imagination begins to dwell on negatives and looks for the worst in situations and people. My heart begins to feel heavy, and I see the future less brightly - in fact I see a pretty bleak future.
We can generally notice what kind of question we are asking ourselves, by the response in our heart and mind and body.
If you want to lead a happy resourceful life, it is very important to ask yourself and other people high grade questions.
Also, questions have an emotional, psychological basis. Generally there are two bases. There is love, And there is fear.
A question based upon love will tend to draw out the good potential in people or situations, be honest, and magnify possibility and actuality of goodness.
A question based upon fear will tend to invite negativity, deny possibility or potential, and paint a future which virtually no one would wants to live.
The obvious combination is to combine love with really high grade questions to realise and live the life you want to.
The more you practice this in your relationship with yourself, and in your personal relationships, the more possibilities you will be able to generate and act upon to create a generous and expansive life based upon the fulfilment of your soul, which is limitless.
Now you are noticing the very basic nature of questions you immediately have it in your power to notice what happens inside of you and where questions lead, and to take the positive direction, you really want to go in.
I hope you have a really wonderful day!
John Donlon with Linda Connors at the Heart of Relationships. Call us for a conversation on how to save your relationship. Or click here for more information : Couple Counselling and Coaching Programme
THE RELATIONSHIP EXPERTS International Relationship Experts John Donlon and Linda Connors have over 30 experience between them. They offer powerful and life changing relationship couple counselling and personal development programmes. They work with individuals and couples in the UK, America, Europe and Australia. If you are in relationship crisis are ready to take the first step into saving your relationship you can contact us on 0800 024 86 47.
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John offers relationship advice, solutions and share their thoughts on love, relationships, marriage and intimacy.