Want to know one of the real reasons brad and angelina - and hundred of other couples - split up? and how you can avoid making the same mistake and keep your own relationship growing and safe...
If you've been following the news recently, you may have heard how very sadly Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have split up? These two exceptional people, who are so environmentally aware, compassionate, and socially giving, have made one mistake, which may mean - if they don't get the right help in future - the end of their relationship.
Want to know what that mistake is? And it's not what you might think...
They put the children first...
That's it. You see, as laudiible as it may sound, doing this one thing, creates a dysfunctional dynamic which unwittingly puts any relationship in jeopardy.
And if you notice the news, if the press releases are true, this is something Brad and Angelina are still continuing to do. The press releases are all about how they are putting the children first and thinking of them. This may sound natural after a break up - but it was cited by Brad as one of the reasons instigating before their break up.
Why Putting the Children First is A Big Mistake.
This is because you - and your partner - need to Put Their Relationship First to show their children the healthy dynamic of a model of love where two people are meeting each other's needs. This creates a healthy core for the family, and as well as showing their children what it is for two people to love each other in a male-female way, showing and giving their children a love they can experience and pass on to their children - and can go on for generations to come.
My own grandparents were like this. And this has gone down through their children, grandchildren, cousins, and relations for generations.
90% of couples I see come to me because they have made the mistake of putting the children first. And when they receive bad advice from counsellors, relationship coaches, psychologists, who themselves are unaware of how healthy family dynamics work, they tend to learn nothing and unwitting repeat the same mistakes.
And this can happen with two otherwise kind, caring, and socially enlightened people like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. And the worst thing is, they will probably take this unhealthy dynamic into their next relationship - and their putting the children they have now first - if they literally do that - will put their next relationships in jeopardy - because it creates a block in the intimate man-woman relationship.
If you put anything as more important than the love of connection of your intimate relationship first you are not creating a solid foundation for your relationship, for your family, nor for your children.
In other words only by putting the love and connection of your relationship first can you create a healthy relationship and a healthy family dynamic which will ultimately benefit your children and everyone around you too.
If that thing you put anything else as more important than your relationship with your partner, then if that thing is in any way threatened or insecure - you will also be willing to exit the relationship to maintain it; and that puts the relationship in jeapardy - as that in no way creates a secure family dynamic.
That means if you put security, money, significance, a quality of life, or your children before your relationship - or the way you parent your children (as Brad and Angelina did) as more important than your relationship...then if that thing is threatened you will exit the relationship...
This is very reason Brad and Angelina cited in the press was the cause of their relationship breakdown - different parenting styles. If they were really clear about it, they wouldn't say different parenting styles were the cause of their break up, but putting their different parenting styles as more important than their relationship - was the real cause of their break up.
And ultimately if they continue to "put the children" in their next relationship, this will continue the n unstable, pain-causing, unhelpful dynamic which has split apart their family now.
Not surprisingly, putting the children first creates an unstable foundation for any Couple Relationship on. And the Couple Relationship - stable or unstable - is the Core of the Family.
If this resonates with you and you would like to change the mistakes of the past, and discover the how to create a loving relationship which will last, a relationship which is wise, strong, kind, creative and abundant, and growing for the rest of your lives, please contact us on 0800 024 8647 to begin your journey to creating your ~ Foundation of a more fulfilling relationship today.
THE RELATIONSHIP EXPERTS International Relationship Experts John Donlon and Linda Connors have over 30 experience between them. They offer powerful and life changing relationship couple counselling and personal development programmes. They work with individuals and couples in the UK, America, Europe and Australia. If you are in relationship crisis are ready to take the first step into saving your relationship you can contact us on 0800 024 86 47.
John offers relationship advice, solutions and share their thoughts on love, relationships, marriage and intimacy.